I'm bored...

And I was once told that when one was bored one should write. Just aimlessly write out thoughts and words as they come to mind. I'm sure that something will come to mind as I just write out words. Recklessly writing words as the come to mind....Of course, words don't always like to come into my mind. I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm just tired. Or maybe having children really does effect one's mind in an adverse way. I would hope not but then it could be so, I'm sure. And then there is the small matter of grammer. When one is free writing does one need to be concerned about grammer? Or is it a sort of free reign? I have no idea really. I used to write short chapters in an ongoing story. I can still remember the stories. I had several. All set in different locations, with different people, and a different chain of events. Although, I'm sure they were probably all about to end happily. How unlike real life. I have a happy story...but I'm sure, if it is followed long enough it will be a sad ending. At least, in this life. One of us will die before the other...leave someone sad and lonely. Of course, there are the children. But they will undoubtably have their own families by then and be unable to visit often. In fact, who knows what life will be like in that far future. Or where our children will end up living. They may end up on different continants. No one stays in the same place anymore. Even now, people move across the country. We live 2000 miles from where we grew up and lived. We may never return home agian. Our children may not have the privilage we took so for granted. Living near family, seeing our extend family at any time. Being able to learn from our grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles.
Who will teach the next generations?

I'm tired, sick, and lonely...

It's been a long, long week. Brandon has been gone for the vast majority of the week...and I've had both girls pretty much 24/7 by myself. I have the greatest respect for single parents now. I always did...but now, I really do. I mean...really, really do. I don't know how they do it without some relief. I love my kids but I really need a night off. I've had them from breakfast in the morning to dinner at night and then, it's the night waking up. That's what kills me I think. The nightime disruptions. I do not deal well without sleep. I really don't. I am SO thankful that for both of my girls I was in a place where someone could watch them while I slept for a few extra hours! Lord willing the next one that comes will give us the same blessing :P Not that I would mind having a baby out here. I would be fine and I'm sure we would work it out....but I want my mom to be there. I want my sister to be able to see the new one as soon as she can get there. I want my dads to see baby too. And my in-laws too. I don't want them to have to drive 24 hours or take a plane :(
I miss being able to drive home. I miss my family. I miss everything except working full time. I miss being able to walk to my dad's house and just say hi.
I miss home.